lilydarling

PRIVATE TO JAMES

I'm tired of feeling like I've done something wrong just because some other version of myself has upset Harry. Why is he ignoring us? Never mind. I'm - just - ugh...

END WARD

Looks like we're stuck here for a while, probably longer than we anticipated, so I've decided to stop mourning the things that are at home and start rebuilding what I can.

There are some things I won't be able to replace, and I've come to terms with that, but that's not where I'm starting. Something that was always very homely to me was the music that I'd put on during the day. I had a really good record collection...

CDs are strange. I don't like them the way I loved vinyl. I suppose the sound quality is better but I quite liked the scratch of a needle on a record. I bought a cheap little CD player and put a few charms on it to stop it from going haywire from all the magic - it's something like a bubble charm that actually worked the best in the end - and I've decided that I'm going to buy a CD every week to rebuild my collection.

Oh Paul McCartney, I've missed you so much.

Harry has a new word - mine! He likes to point at the presents under the tree and repeat it enthusiastically while clapping his hands. It's so hard to teach him to say please when he's being so cute.

PRIVATE TO MARAUDERS EXCEPT JAMES

I'm kicking myself. I usually have all my Christmas shopping done by now. In fact, I had James's bought back in October - a season ticket! Of course, that didn't travel here with us, and I hate spending his own money on gifts... any tips for what I could do? I've already bought him a few little bits and pieces, but again, with his money. Not having a job is irritating. I wanted to make him something, but I don't want to look... tacky, cheap, or juvenile.

Help?

He's his father's son, that's for definite. Every time we sit down to read his new book, he always wants to skip to the end where the little boy hugs the penguin.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. Once he sees that picture, he hugs me. I can't explain in words how good that feels. I never want him to grow up and not want to hug me

It's amazing how peoples' sense of personal space is shattered when it comes to babies. In fact, I remember that when I was pregnant, old women kept touching my bump and asking me the oddest questions. I had the urge to touch their stomachs, too, just to freak them out. Just because I am living for two doesn't mean you can touch me!

Why the rant? I was just out walking with Harry around the park for some fresh air, and all these random ladies submerged on the buggy, cooing and ahhing and touching my baby! My baby! Mine! Obviously I don't mind when friends and family are all over him, but you don't know who you can trust these days I'm germ phobic.

( Lily Potter )